when do we let the hurt go?

for the longest, i've convinced myself that my traumas were only mine to carry and insignificant to others. i've learnt to bury my sorrow and hide my pain away from myself and from the world. time passes by and the grief remains the same. i'm tired of bearing the load, but i struggle to let it go. it's honestly become more of a comfort to wallow in my own self-misery. when do i break out of the "comfort" and let it go? when is the suffering enough? idk. thinking about this makes me cringe lol